Looking Back...

t's here again. Leaving. I'm leaving again. Leaving with new things, new perspectives, newer loves, new relationships, new hurts, new joys, all new... Though they accompany the old. Tomorrow I'll begin my mild journey to Abilene through those quaint West Texas towns who bode nothing but generations, but when I do I think I might cry. This summer has been one of healing, either it has healed or it has begun healing. This is why I think I will cry because I found a lot of beauty in the summer. Mostly in my Mother, who for a long time it was somewhat difficult to relate and understand her. It wasn't that I didn't love her, but I just didn't understand her as much as I would have liked because there were some difficult things for me to understand. But nevertheless, I have begun learning who my mother really is... her strengths, her weakness, ultimately more of the beautiful person that God has made her to be in my life. She has taught me so much about loving, and what it means to do that to people. And it wasn't in a sitdown discussion, or "class", that she taught me this... She just woke up and went about her business the way she normally does, and she talks to me and listens to me. I love my mom, and if I cry tomorrow while driving because of how much beauty I discovered in the summer... I know she'll be crying too.
The most important thing she taught me is to love, and indeed, I am loving. I've fallen in love again, all because of the beauty that I have found in brokenness and vulnerability. It's one of the most naked places to live, but it is the most comfortable and most refreshing when you find it. And honestly, I think that is what God created us to be... Naked. After all, Adam and Eve were created naked and it wasn't until shame came into their lives that they were clothed with animal skins, but now... now we've all been fortunate enough to be blessed by the opportunity of meeting a rugged man who is shameless and without reputation, who sees us... sees me... in all of my shame and while I am weeping, he tells me that he has freed me from hiding in skins of shame. Oh, brokenness. Oh, love. This summer has been good and I will pack it tightly in my heart's memory for the days when I feel like the world couldn't be colder. Thank God for friends and family.